A New Year & The Passage of Time

I’m a big believer in people’s ability to transform, but I also think the way we discuss change around the new year often lacks some nuance. We are often shooting for the stars and wanting something different and dramatic for ourselves. We’re saying things like, “New Year, New Me.” The passage of time that the new year reminds us of often leads us to reflect on our place in the world, our identity, and if we are meeting our own expectations. We often ask ourselves; what can I do to optimize myself this year?

While self-improvement is a good thing, the pursuit of perfection is a lie we tell ourselves to feel in control. We often become grandiose this time of year, then inevitably let ourselves down when striving for flawlessness. I want us all to live lives we are proud of, but this a little reminder to also stay humble, focus on the small moments, focus on gratitude, and to focus on moments of connection in 2026.

When I personally find myself spinning out and not feeling successful enough, pretty enough, rich enough, or generally good enough in some way, I often find Irvin Yalom’s concept of rippling to be helpful. Rippling refers to the fact that each of us creates—often without our conscious intent or knowledge—concentric circles of influence that may affect others for years, even for generations. The effect we have on other people is in turn passed on to others, much as the ripples in a pond go on and on until they’re no longer visible but continuing at a nano level.

While we may or may not reach the tallest heights of success or optimization, we can leave our mark on the world each day by offering kindness to others. We can be good friends, neighbors, and family members and let that goodness ripple past us. We can also have gratitude for the moments of beauty around us, rather than rushing past them in the pursuit of being somewhere else or becoming someone else.