The Importance of Feeling Difficult Emotions
When was the last time you felt alive? I know many of us have been feeling detached lately. We’ve been finding ways to check out and numb ourselves. A heavy news cycle and the post-holiday blues have teamed up to make January particularly rough.
I’ve personally found myself scrolling more, snacking more, and reaching for background tv to fill silences. While it’s understandable to check out at times, this a reminder that, unfortunately, we can’t selectively numb. We need to feel our difficult emotions in order to feel the good ones. If we don’t close ourselves off, we can find ways to feel alive and find moments of beauty even in the midst of grief or other difficult circumstances.
I lost someone over the summer and found when I allowed myself to feel it, grief showed up in ways that I didn’t anticipate. Grief will make you a walking raw nerve, but there can also be a beauty in that rawness. That rawness can bring a presence and a gratitude in moments that we don’t normally have access to. This is not to make light of grief or pretend that it’s not fucking terrible, because 0 stars, do not recommend. Unfortunately, it’s also inevitable.
Not long after this loss, I found myself traveling somewhere beautiful and far from home. Traveling in that raw state was both terrible and wonderful. Sometimes I was a very irritable bitch, but I was also experiencing a deeper appreciation for the beauty around me than I normally do. There were multiple instances where my eyes welled up with tears simply due to seeing a landscape.
If we are struggling, we need to find a way to be with those raw parts of ourselves. We need to be soft and present with ourselves, rather than running or numbing. Take some time be with the parts of yourself that you have been avoiding. If you can, feel the physical presence of those emotions in your body. Try to name the emotion or emotions that are present. Notice if they feel familiar or old. Listen to what the raw parts of you are saying or needing, because the vulnerable parts of you are also the parts that let the light in.
